There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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