she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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