So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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