Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
