dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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