Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
