So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
