I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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