I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
