i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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