so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
