The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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