i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
