If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
