U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
