we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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