fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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