I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
