Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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