i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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