I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
