I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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