I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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