wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
