quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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