I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
