So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
