I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
