Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Mom said you looked used
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
