You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
