I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
