He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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