hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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