Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
