that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize