it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
