Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Michael Bay diarrhea
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
