if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
