Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
