good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize