A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
