At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
