Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
