i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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