How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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