her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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