alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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