I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
