I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
