we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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