Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
