sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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