Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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