im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
