Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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