you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize