ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
