Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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