they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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