so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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