They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
