I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
