We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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