so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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