I looked at my own cervix.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
