how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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